Paradox Series IV: The Wisdom Paradox

There are several PGA and CMAA professionals that I admire and look to for inspiration, motivation and even “grounding” throughout any given golf season or hiring season in my role. In fact, there are too many to list, because each of them “delivers” that value to me in differing contexts, at different events and in different ways…but all are useful. One thing that people with surnames like King, Kass, Jones, Hochrine, Dixon, Marconi, Fraley, Aichele, Cooper, Bowles, Griffin, Sweet, Bangild, Oropallo, Kraft, O’Donnell, Neff, Smith, Runyan, Emery, Phay and others—too many to name—“give me” is authenticity. They’re authentic in how they care about those around them, and how they care about me (caring enough to let me know when I’m off target, out of bounds, off base, misinformed or basically wrong). They are also people who model an authentic understanding of the Wisdom Paradox.

What is the Wisdom Paradox? Mark Manson, author of the The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck riffed on his YouTube channel with his own 15 Paradoxes That Will Change Your Life in 2021. In this video, his #7 paradox was his take on the wisdom paradox. He states that “The more you learn, the more you realize you don’t know $h!+.” Then his #8 paradox followed up with yet another strong statement, “The more a person is convinced they are right, the more likely they are wrong.” All 15 of them are good, but for this article #7 and #8 are very applicable.

In the “Free to Pursue” Blog, written by Hélène Massicotte, the author spells out the Wisdom Paradox in this way:

The more you learn, the more you are exposed to what you don’t know. The wisdom paradox tells us that the more we’re exposed to thoughts, points of view, new situations, cultures, ideas, and facts, the more we appreciate just how ignorant we are and that the ways to see the world are virtually infinite…don’t worry. There’s a payoff to that growing feeling of cluelessness. There’s power hidden in it. That power rests in the lack of assumptions:

• We stop assuming there’s an easy answer.
• We ask more questions.
• We listen more intently to fully appreciate and understand a point of view.
• We realize that anyone and everyone can be a teacher.
• We tend to dismiss comparisons among individuals as irrelevant or at least of little use.
• We’re comfortable exploring a fuzzy topic, knowing full well we might never get to the bottom of it.

And so, I will continue to bask in my incompetence, in my deficiencies, in my ineptitude, knowing full well that, with every book I read, speech I hear, conversation I engage in, exposure to my own ignorance grows…I’ve learned to appreciate this level of awareness because it means that, just as a good thriller can, the curiosity that results will always make me want to turn the page.”

That is pretty clear, isn’t it? The one thing that each of those folks I mentioned earlier in this article has in common is this (I’ve personally witnessed it at least once), they genuinely love to learn…and not so they can be “the smartest.” I believe it is so they can be more effective as leaders, mentors and so on. They get a “kick out of discovering what they don’t know” and they are seemingly less afraid of asking “the question that everyone else should be asking, but doesn’t have the courage to admit it.” That’s right, they’re willing to learn and sometimes to be…BE THE IDIOT | SIMON SINEK. (Watch the video.)

“YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS? YOU SUFFER FROM I-D-10-T SYNDROME.”

I was at least in my mid-40s before my Dad taught me that one. Suffering from this syndrome is the antithesis of “Being The Idiot” in a useful, purposeful and beneficial way. Instead, it is choosing (over and over again) to be an “idiot” because one wants to look, to sound or appear “smart.” What a difference.

Simon Sinek’s advice about being willing to “be the idiot” is very much on target. Ironically, (or paradoxically in this case), the true person who suffers from “I-D-10-T Syndrome” is the one who thinks, or more accurately wants the rest of us to think, they’re the smartest (or that they have to be the smartest), and is therefore unable to admit they don’t have the answer(s) or they’re unable to admit they need help, or they were wrong, etc. Instead, they double down on the syndrome they have, and all too often, they lean into it and choose to lie, to hide and to fake vs admitting they need help, they don’t have all the answer(s.)

The “Free To Pursue” blog also had these amazing quotes that would seem to be applicable here:

“[O]ne of most important lessons I’ve learned as an astronaut: to value the wisdom of humility, as well as the sense of perspective it gives you.”  — Chris Hadfield, “An Astronaut’s Guide To Life On Earth” (2013), p. 282.

“Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.” — Albert Einstein

It would seem that it is when one admits they are:

• Free to not be the smartest
• Free to not be the “one with the answers”
• Free enough to ask for help or ask for consideration
• Free to pursue a better way…a more efficient way…a better use of this or that resource…

Or similar, one can ask the more important questions (empowered by the freedom and the willingness to “be the idiot”) like:

• Free to ask:
  • “Why do we do it this (or that) way?”
  • “Has anyone ever thought of doing __________?”
  • “Have we asked them what they want or need?”
  • And willing to ask what might be (but isn’t always) a dumb question
  • Help me understand…
  • Myself (through my inner monologue): Do I need to be right here? Do I have to win this argument just to win?

In one of my recent educational presentations, I presented the concept of ‘Practicing Professionalism Purposefully” as a way to be highly respected and highly valued as a PGA professional. Specifically, I suggested this would include the following behaviors:

• Welcome the “Easy Way” lessons in our lives, and make a practice of “Observing others when they learn the “Hard Way” lessons on our behalf. Again, there’s a paradox and a power in “being dumb enough” to let others “learn the hard way.”
• When we fail, and we will, let’s “Fail forward, learn from it the first time” (as often as possible). My mentor, Gus Jones taught me: “You can fail every day – just don’t fail the same way every day.”
• Admit we need feedback to get better so we seek out constructive feedbacK | Practice being “coachable”
• Find those who we can admire and live this out: “The best I know: Revel in learning they don’t know what they don’t know” [Be the learner, not the Pseudo-smartest]
• Life is an open book test | Open the book! (ask for help). Why? Others, the ones who have the answers, can and will teach us because we showed them we actually want to learn, we care.
• Learn from this quote: “Be like a sponge when it comes to each new experience. If you want to be able to express it well, you must first be able to absorb it well.” ‒ Jim Rohn

For the coming golf season, let’s make a pact. Let’s commit to ourselves and those who can hold us accountable to being “Free and Willing to Be the Idiot, to Be the Sponge…and to Open the Book whenever we can.”

In the next installment of this series, Paradox Series V, we will look in depth at “The Productivity Paradox”. If you have some takeaways or success stories that you’d like to share with me after reading this article or if you have a “win” in a part of your career, some professional development or similar, please reach out to me when you can. If you are seeking any help with your career or similar, please click on the “Book an Appointment on Monte’s Calendar” link below.